The Worst Cards Ever: Dead Horse


As you know, from Black Friday through Cyber Monday you can buy the Worst Cards Ever, a once-in-a-lifetime set of 18 incredibly shitty Exiles cards.

But don’t do it. These cards are the fucking worst. I mean, look at this:


Okay, even at 8 bucks, the Wank Oil was at least actually useful. What the fuck is this?

It’s a dead fucking horse. Dead. And it still costs you $15, which makes absolutely no sense at all. Unless you were going to fuck it, which is about all you can do with this piece of shit item.

I mean, the stats are great, there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, this fucking thing has stats like a $40 or $50 Fightin’ weapon, and for only $15!

Look closer, dumbass.

There isn’t a No Skill stat line, and you need Strength 10, 11, and 12 to use the Skilled stat lines. 10. 11. 12. STRENGTH ONLY GOES UP TO 9!

So yea, this really is just a dead fucking horse. I’m sure Paul Bunyan or Bill Brasky could beat your ass to death with it, but you… you better be excited about necrophilia bestiality.