The Worst Cards Ever: Smarmy Mustache


As you know, from Black Friday through Cyber Monday you can buy the Worst Cards Ever, a once-in-a-lifetime set of 18 incredibly shitty Exiles cards.

But don’t do it. These cards are the fucking worst. I mean, look at this:


Okay, so granted this item is pretty damn useful. But God Dammit, you’re a real piece of shit if you use it!

I mean a Real. Piece. Of. Shit.

In fact, the only way to GET this item is to be a piece of shit. And we know none of our fine, beloved Exiles players are such huge pieces of shit that they’d want to use this item.

Unless you play a Bandit. Then you’re a piece of shit by default, and I’m looking right at you, Ryan… and you, Chris… and you too, Carl… and…

Alright, well, so maybe a lot of our players ARE huge pieces of shit, but it’s still only one item out of 18. And all you huge pieces of shit are both too huge and too shitty to buy a whole deck for one card, right?

I think we’re safe.