Tall Tales: Pam Sandwina
She can drink a whole keg of whiskey in a sittin’ too, or I’m a damn liar, and she pisses so fuckin’ much we call the latrine ditch out back Lake Sandwina!
He come on like a freight train and drove his shoulder right into that woman’s gut. Hit Pam so damn hard she went clear off her feet and smashed through one of them tables yonder. We all knowed Bart for a fighter, and back then we didn’t know Pam from Johnson, so we figured that was all she wrote, ‘cause even Bart weren’t likely to keep goin’ after takin’ a hit like that. But then Pam starts laughin’. Laughin’, right there on the goddamn floor. And up she pops with Bart danglin’ by his fuckin’ shirt collar!
She’s got Bart hangin’ from one o’ them meathooks she calls hands and she’s poundin’ the other into his face like a damn piston. Bam! Bam! Bam! So smooth you couldda set yer goddamn watch. It was all Bart could do to put one foot steady ‘fore he passed out. And when the poor sumbitch finally goes limp, Pam drops him like a ragdoll, pops open his mouth, and plucks out three of his fuckin’ teeth! That dumb sonofabitch had bet his gold teeth Pam couldn’t whup him in a fight!