Persona Intro: Buzzard
Out on the frontier, there’s little makes a man feel more helpless than the ravages of disease. There ain’t a storm or stampede, flood or fire brings a man low as pox and plague. But there are those out here, where the bright beacon of science casts a dwindling twilight, for whom the deadliest contagion is a source of strength and power. They flock like buzzards to the carrion reek of pestilence that haunts the dreams of normal men, and dwell with pleasure amongst the putrid spawn of death.
Uhhhh… pretty fucking gross, right?
Let’s be honest, Buzzards are way past fucking gross, but they’re also one of the most resilient and flexible Personas around, which ironically makes a Buzzard one of your closest hombres in a clinch!
Disgusting as they may be, Buzzards are a Tier 1 Persona, which means they spew more special skills and unique super powers than puss from an infected cold sore.
Buzzards are the bedfellows of disease and vermin, which makes them tough as fuck and the absolute masters of handing out shitty Special Effects like so much warm pocket candy, but their dirtbag nature also makes Buzzards inveterate charmers and flimflam artists.
Buzzards start with 3 Mustard and 2 Cheatin’ tokens, which doesn’t sound like much until you realize that these scumbags buy both Grit and Cheatin’ & Lyin’ for a paltry 5 Mustard! Like Walburns, Buzzards only pay 20 for Brutal Warrior, too, so they can take a beating like the best of them.
Not only can Buzzards soak up damage like a bloody sponge, they can also buy the unique Snake Blood skill, which lets them ignore the Poisoned special effect, and they can prevent Corruption with their Viper’s Dance skill. Now, you should know that this ability to prevent Corruption is sickeningly awesome. Corruption is just about the fastest way to die in the Exiles west, unless you count getting dragged into the Wasteland by a Duster!
Just like Walburns, Buzzards have the Snake Handlin’ skill, which lets you drop slithery, snappy, poisonous traps on the table, but Buzzards can also get the Snake Lovin’ skill which will make them Walburns feverish with envy. Snake Lovin’ lets you use snakes as weapons and special items, and just remember that almost no snakes require hands to use. That’s right… give it a moment to sink in…
Never thought you’d be horny for Buzzards, did you?
Buzzards buy Strength for 5 Learnin’, and because we haven’t showered them with enough gifts, they can Bash, Bludgeon, and Rush as well, which makes a Buzzard someone you REALLY don’t want to get close to, unless you’re dying, because these fuckers can buy Revival for a piddly 3 Learnin’! They poison you in the process, obviously, but sick is better than dead, ain’t it?
Aaaaaaaand… That’s not the best of it.
Buzzards come with the Bad Blood skill for free, which means you draw a random Disease item Before We Start, from Ablepsy to the dreaded Worm Fit. Normally this shit would kill a dude, but Buzzards are anything but normal. For Buzzards, every Disease gives you a little bonus, which is sometimes sick and sometimes putrid, but Buzzards also get to spread the love like Typhoid Mary with their Contagion skill!
If you want to be a tough as shit master of filth, disease, and cuddly little vermin pals, then Buzzard is the Persona for you!
Buzzards are fucking disgusting, and also strangely lovable. The Persona stats alone are a hideously tempting, but there’s just something downright charming about the carefree way Buzzards move through the world. Nothing seems to bother them, from bullets to the bubonic plague, and they always have friends, whether it’s a mutated crotch louse, or just because they’re always hot to suck the poison out! – Jesse